Coming up to a T Junction – Day 26


Well, tomorrow is results day and and I forgot that we come to this juncture every cycle and discuss whether we want to do a pregnancy test in advance or not. Many couples blitz the pregnancy tests non stop through the two week window. We feel that lots of negative tests, hoping for a glimmer or a positive line each day, can cause stress, and we are against anything stress creating so we don’t blitz and decide at the last min of we want to do something. That’s just us I guess.

Cycle 1 we didn’t test, we waited for the call, and then collectively and spontaneously burst into tears when we got the positive result. This has to go down as one of the most memorable phone calls I will ever take. The second cycle we didn’t make it to transfer and the 3rd cycle we self tested and were tortured with what could have been an exceptionally faint line. We stared at that thing for ages waiting for some neon fluorescent line to just blast its way out of the view window, but it never did, so we waited for the video result from a 3rd umpire.

 So the call comes in….

 “So, you got the call?” (me)

“yes” (Mrs IVF)

“so how did we do?”

I didn’t think this was a hard question… a yes or no would nail this. You cant be half pregnant you know. This has to be one of the oldest and well known saying and, well I believed it to be true.

“4”

“hmm, well what the hell does that mean?”

I had forgotten all the measures they use for this end of the game and had no idea if 4 was good or not..

“well its kind of pregnant but a very low score”.

So it looks like you can be half pregnant. Well, there you go.

We jabbed with progesterone away for a few more days but the levels never really rose much. You are supposed to double ever few days and after 2-3 days I think we hit 6, (she should be in hundreds or preferably thousands or well at least double digits!!!). The Dr’s suggested after a few days that we stop the progesterone shots due to the risk of an ectopic, and so we did and well, here we are….

We have decided to test tomorrow before we head out for the blood work for the umpires.

Mentally – things are ok I guess, but I feel more and more we have been starring in some sort of 60’s “creature from the  black lagoon” type horror movie where all the rest of the world decided to have kids why we weren’t looking and we were sentenced to a life of watching them.

We headed upstate for a bit of a night away yesterday. We had dinner at a very popular little restaurant in the middle of a town that has slowly had the life sucked out of it by a strip mall on the edge of town. (As a side note.. a woman rode past me yesterday on a bike as we were looking for somewhere for dinner. She was very friendly and just looking for a chat. I don’t think her driveway fully reached the road, but I mentioned to her we were looking for somewhere to eat. “I need to head home”, she says, “this town isn’t what it used to be, too many stabbings and a few weeks ago a woman back there (points behind her) lost a hand in a machete attack. I’m going home for a long bath, locking my door and not coming back out until the sun comes up. This place is different after dark”. Guess she had no great restaurant tips then and I have a pregnant wife (surely!) in the middle of gangland looking for a good Mexican feed, (thankfully with at least another 2 hrs of sunlight in the day)

Dinner was great in a real homely little place we found which was only slightly annoying from the visual of pregnant mums to be or just running / yelling kids everywhere. Its not a huge nightmare, but its like a fly that hangs around you in summer that nags you a bit that you cant see to escape from.

After dinner we headed to a drive in movie (yes they still exist!)which was great fun, but forgot how much of a great idea it is to take kids to a drive in, so the whole place was a creche. Even at Target today the woman who sold us the pregnancy test looked like she was about to drop a few kids. Mrs IVF thinks its good luck that a pregnant woman was on the checkout – its a positive sign she says. In my mind, that’s the sort of rhubarb I would expect from someone who is pregnant, so fair enough comment I guess.

We dropped into our local Gloria Jeans (for the Australian folk who read this – yes -its made it to New Jersey), for some form of blizzard-ice-age-in-a-cup type beverage and for the 1st time in 3 months we actually talked about results day. We both feel confident, but again, we really have no idea. We thought about the last 26 days and wouldn’t change anything we did, except maybe a bit more fitness and even more trips to the organic store, but really, I don’t think we can do much more. If we get a negative tomorrow, then the money we would have spent on genetic testing / PGD, (but didn’t) will be a silver lining, but if we get a positive, oh geez, who knows how we’ll feel.

Either way, the life freeze of the last month is over and we move on with life one way or another. Its like you have been on a long winding road trip where you have stuck to one route for days, taking in the scenery and the trip grows on you, its your route,  and whatever comes our way you take (including hitting some local wildlife I think on the day of retrieval, that was a tough day). Its like our own route 66 and then out of the  blue we have come up over a ridge hit a T junction. We have to go left or right from here. Do we take the route out of IVF land or drive back to the town center for the next chapter of the movie (which hopefully doesnt star a machete)? We have in a weird way grown attached to the route, we’ve coped with the hills and enjoyed the ride down the other side. Now its time to take a new path.

Its rare you get such decisive days in your life. Tomorrow night will be different than today, and that’s weird to know that its coming, so fot hose of you who have been in the car along this route and read some past posts..

*  after driving around the supermarket do we finally get a parking spot?

* do we ride the wave to shore, or are we going to get dumped into another sand bar?

* do we beat tribal council on survivor island?

* is there a car behind door 2 on the great IVF game show of life? and,

* do we FINALLY get off this roller coaster?

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One Response

  1. Can’t wait to hear the results. Saying prayers for you two.

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