Dealing with my brain

Back from the baby factory and nice to be home. A 500 sq ft hotel room can be really fun for well, 5 mins, but 2 weeks. well. So bit of an update:

– a final push on the chicken nugget front at the airport before leaving babyland seems to have cured Mrs IVF of her dreaded nugget curse. The crap food now ceases and we are back into behaving well on the eating front.

– we walk around all day saying “11′ to each other and smiling, knowing full well mother nature can king hit us with one of her random brick throws at any time, but fck it, 11 is awesome, so why not feel good for once. Lets watch this implode from here.

– as we roared down the runway heading back to gotham city Mrs IVF looks at me and say “bye kids, see you soon” with a really nice big sweet smile on her dial.

– according to the genetic elf 50% good is the success rate back from microarray testing so if that comes off we get 5-6 to play with. They wont transfer more than 2. If we go 2, then there is a 77% chance of pregnancy and 73% chance of it going full term. Thats the baby factor stats

– thinking ahead to the results. So if we score..

zero – we are screwed. There is no way they will every stim Mrs IVF that much again, so we have a choice as to weather this was just a bad roll of the dice and try again, or if we give up and go donor etc

1-2 – do we transfer now, or do we hold off and stim again? Here is Mrs IVF’s theory. If we go trf and get pregnant it will be 2 years before we get to probably go again and by then we will probably have a birthday starting with a 4. So do we farm a bit now, or are we kidding ourselves and just go for one, shut up and be happy. Another stim cycle could be over by christmas… hmmm.

2-4.. see 1-2 or see 5-6

5-6. Probably transfer

7-8. Write a book  on how we manager to get this far.

8+ probably hit the daytime TV shows, starting with Oprah. Book a slot in US weekly and ring a few TV producers (even though of course none of these have turned into a bloody child that has been any more than a 5 day olds blob of cells)

So , no idea why  I wrote that out, but I guess there is nothing else to do on this front, (now the nugget addiction has been licked) for another 3 weeks 5 days and 12 hrs, (not that we are watching a clock or are anxious at all)

– Work has been a real haul the last few days. I worked a lot remotely while in babyland (which thankfully my job has that flexibility to allow that), but I came back feeling useless, some what emotionally exhausted and just tired. One part of me was sort of yelling at me to get my shit together as I have been out of the office for 2 weeks and the other part of my brain was telling the pushy side it can stick itself where the sun done shine (to which the pushy side said ” I am already where the “sun dont shine”  as when was the last time the sun shone inside your head – moron”)….. hmm interesting day in my brain today.. anyway – the more lenient side of the brain was saying “chill out dude – you have been back on the emotional roller coaster and you know what – it aint easy and you know what, you work to hard anyway and you know what, you need a holiday and you know what – cut yourself some frikkin slack. You are going through an incredibly hard time in your life, so how about a little bit less on beating yourself up.”

“nice work” says the brain referee (somewhere between the two) … lets go for a drink, so I headed out with a mate who is in town from Tokyo and slammed down 6 rather tasty no alcoholic nojitis.

Thankyou all for your posts. I really appreciate it and Mrs IVF loves to read them as well. I recognize there is a world of lurkers out there (or Mrs IVF has just been spamming the site to get the dashboard stats up), either of which is cool I guess, but we do appreciate all posts, so thanks. Click the poll and let me know what you want to hear about so I can keep my mind active for the next few weeks!


6 Responses

  1. I totally agree and side with the more lenient side of the brain on this one. It’s not like you were away on a lovely beach holiday for 2 weeks. And while you didn’t have your ovaries popped and develop a nasty nugget addiction, you were the rock, the support , the help that made this possible too. So, yeah, cut yourself some slack. And really, who wants to go back to work anyway? Even after a 2 week beach holiday? It’s normal.

    I can’t wait to see you guys on Oprah!

  2. Wow…I really am loving your blog! Since I’m sick of watching football, I sat down and caught up with your adventures since June. I can’t believe everything you have been through. I have to admit that now I feel like I am playing in the kiddie version of the IVF sandbox. I also think I’ll stop complaining about driving 2.5 hours each way for office visits. 😀 I’m so glad that you found the baby factory and have had great elves. Your results are freakin unbelievable! I hope that MrsIVF is recovering and reducing the oh-so-fun bloat.

    Listen to your referee. Just because you weren’t the one getting probed with a needle doesn’t mean that you didn’t have a hell of a time the last two weeks.

  3. Hi. Enjoy reading your blog. So few male voices out there. Anyway, sending positive vibes to fellow IVF bloggers today, as I know it’s so hard to keep a positive frame of mind. +++++++

  4. Thanks for sharing all of the mental wanderings. It is great you have 11 to start with. I’m hoping it will be clear what to do once you find out how many normals you get. thinking of you.


  5. We have a consultation with CCRM in the next few days. Who is your doctor and would you recommend them? They want us to pick one.

  6. It doesn’t really matter. We went with the chief babymaker – Dr Schoolcraft – but we have only had an hr with him in our into. Mrs IVF’s retrieval was done by another Dr and lIke many clinics you can get any Dr at any time, which was fine with us.

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