We need to see the mouse

We are all well versed at waiting. You can tell the IVF person at a bus stop, or at the station if a train breaks down, they don’t care, it’s just another wait. However –  don’t get in the way of an IVF person when their glacial IVF existence is shifting fwd with an elf appointment or a trigger, nothing will stop them. Still, for 99% of the time it’s all about waiting, so whats the rush if the bus is late, it’s not like you need to get home to tuck the kids in.

So as we wait for the Bingo gang to come back with results, we see others ahead of us getting around 50% success and getting their results right on 4 weeks, so I guess that is our expectation on both fronts. Mrs IVF pings me at work during the day on updates from numerous boards she is tracking if one of our bingo predecessors has come back with results. She is like my own home built IVF google (with legs), which is great and one of those nice freebies you get when you get married and didn’t realise this was part of the order you put in. Kind of like the warm bread you get at a nice restaurant and you didnt even order it.

So while there is a little bit of tension building around results I have decided to tackle this head on and we’re off to Orlando. We need some fun. We need a break. We need to get away for a few days over the long weekend and just chill out. We need an injection of laughter. We need a fairytale, a castle and some tangible, touchable make believe.We need to see the mouse.  According to Mrs IVF’s calculations we should hear from the elves at the baby factory just after the Columbus day weekend, so that will be the day after we get back from the House of Mouse, so perfect timing to have our own world turned upside down again.

So this clicked off a rather bizarre thought in that rather overactive mind of mine and I blurted it out to Mrs IVF before I could catch it. ” Maybe I dont want a result at all. We could stay like this”…. how messed up is that. Prima facie this is a poor tortured head that just doesn’t want a bad result. At the IVF casino we have had a great run this cycle and just want to take our chips off the table and go and buy a nice steak dinner. Maybe deeper down we just want off this overall roller coaster and are fed up with the process.Mrs IVF landed the clear common sense in one line “… then we never get to transfer… you really want to stay here?”

I think our expectations are low enough. If we really strike low / no goodies then we are really screwed. How can you do better than this cycle and WTF do we do next? and if its good? My first reaction is “whats the next hurdle?” I hope the mouse can help with a bit of short term escapism.

2 more quick thoughts:

– thanks for the poll votes and thanks also for all of your posts. They are quite long and well thought through, so I really appreciate that. Mrs IVF loves your comments as well. I am working on responses to your poll answers and additional questions.

– a mate of mine at work today (who has a really nice 5 bedroom house) was complaining and wants to sell it and go find work somewhere else. “want to buy it?” he blurts, and my knee jerk response was ” I can’t produce enough people to fill it”…I need to get these sort of things out of my head, but how, the pain and exhaustion of 3 years has saturated my soul I think. Ok – yes we’ll see, but I guess this things is just a slog. IVF is like a session at Ben and Jerry’s – so many different flavors – but deep down it’s the same product. I just wish it tasted as good.

To those out there having a wonderful result today – good on you! For those who have been hit by one of mother Nature’s random bricks, oh man, I hate those days, and those that are just watching or waiting – hang in there, and keep the faith!! Just google google google and see how many frikkin people get pregnant on this path.


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