Garnering consensus

Funny thing this IVF shit show. Sorry, people put full stops in those words…. shit sh.ow.

I have reached out to a few inner circle mates to of course get their opinions around this transfer question and you know what, some thoughts are golden and some are clueless. We all know the pitfalls of opinions from clueless fertiles.

We are currently enjoying the company of my father who has come to the big smoke from Sydney, Australia. Awesome guy who I am very close to and someone I respect immensely. Want to work out where I get my sense of humor from? Try this. He is flying on United and I warned him that these guys suck (come on, they really do) and he should be prepared for a fairly shitty fl.ight. “As long as the number of take off equals the number of landings, I’ll be fine”. He’s a down to earth guy who focuses on the fundamentals.

So we are getting his input live in the current situation and the other day, straight after the Baby maker call, we all sat down on the lounge to chat about it. I dont know what hit me and dont really remember well, but Mrs IVF informs me that we start to talk of 1 vs 2 vs 3 and I just zonked straight off to sleep on the lounge (well, work has been a little tough and I guess I just was a bit wiped out), so dad and Mrs IVF trundled off to the study and continued to chat.

Dad view is as random as mind “go two and you know what, you can do three cycles” or “go three, drop them in and see how you go fast and get back to stimming if needs be”…. to be honest, he is super sensitive to interfering and prefers to play a pitstop role and just help us to think rather than offer suggestions. He has done this all my life. “you haven’t made too many  bad calls in your life, so why should I start interfering now” is his general mantra.

In the wider friend group, the moron of the week comment goes to a british buddy of mine (father of 2 at the BOAEL  – at the blink of an eyelid), who feels up to speed, and truly thinks he is helping but really has both feet in his mouth. The conversation was around the 2 vs 3 but also if we stim again if we have one / a few failed cycles. The view in our camp (as many of you I am sure subscribe is – stim when you can as eveything just gets older). Mr Moron’s view? Half way through my explanation  he blurts out the following interruption – “2 and why would you stim again? Listen dude it comes to a point where you just have to wonder if this is ever going to work”…. oh beautiful, thanks for helping me comes to terms with that thought.

The whole chat reminded me of the movie terminator 2 where that really fancy future cyborg thing comes down to try and get that rude kid you just want to belt around the head but the Governor of California gets in the way, by raising taxes, sending the state broke and oh yeah, shooting the facy future bad cop. Well – remember how that bad cop could just be blown away at point blank range and you would think “oh man, that shot had to kill it”, but it doesn’t, it regroups and gets on with its fancy cyborg life…. well that’s how this conversation felt. My pommy mate is the governator and I just got a double barrel dump to the face. What a senseless muppet, but who cares, life goes on.

Oh by the way – today I am thinking 2. I have picked up 2 very wise soundbites on top of your great comments:

– don’t put in more that you really want back

– don’t have more kids that you have arms


3 Responses

  1. I can get behind 2. You are more….brave?…..stupid?…..glutton for punishment?……than me to even try to engage a fertile in this decision. 😉

    And I loved that comment too – don’t try for more babies than you have arms. Exactly.

    Has the rev up for FET started? Meds begun?

  2. I love your father already! He sounds much like my mother- her favorite saying was “the sun will always come up tomorrow- whether you want it to or not. What you can do is alter your reaction to the situation”
    Kinda sounds mean-but it really wasn’t. I could totally hear her saying the “take offs and landing equal” statement. 🙂
    Anyhoo- sounds like your father has great advice, and I have to agree with him on the stimming part (do it while you can). On 2 v 3- if you two were already having trouble decided 1 v 2, then I would probably lean more towards 2. I wouldn’t want your poor Mrs. IVF to fall out or have to grow a third arm to hole the #3 baby.
    Good luck with the decided.
    Oh, and poo on the clueless friend. He had what- 3 minutes to ponder the situation and come to an absolute desicion? Have to give him some slack on that one though- men that can get their gals pregnant whilst blinking their eyes might be searching for their Visine…thus distraction from thinking clearly.

  3. uh, mean ‘third arm to HOLD the #3 baby” I definitely don’t want her to HOLE a baby. Geesh- proof read much? Not me obviously.

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