My wife and I are a pair of Australians living in NY and have lived here for about 5 years. We enjoy living here. We have some great friends, really enjoy the city and get out and make the most  of it when we can. We met in London  many moons ago and fell out of touch for a while. After 9 years in London I had an opportunity to move to NY and jumped at it in 2003 . The Mango Princess and I caught up again many years later on a trip I had back to London in July 04 and the rest is history. We “commuted” between London and NY a lot to see each other as much as possible but eventually she decided to move to NY (yay!!!) in May 05. We were engaged in Feb 06 and we had a truly fantastic wedding back in Sydney in Dec 06. We have been trying for kiddies every since with no luck. (fyi – as a complete side note – she is my life. I think she is truly wonderful)

This blog joins the kiddie quest story at around day 850 where were are on our 4th IVF cycle. Cycle 1 was a miscarriage at 7 weeks (wow – what a tough experience). Cycle 2 never had a transfer as we did genetic testing (PGD) on our three little fellas and all were no good and on cycle 3 we got 3 embryos through PGD, but had a chemical pregnancy. So here we are…..

We never did IUI due to my useless little swimmers never really making that an option. I fell over as a kid and landed badly on my nuts. I am thinking 24 years later that its come back to haunt me. I still can get a decent dose (say 5-7million) on the swimmer front, so things could be worse, but  sadly well shy of the 20 million a normal guy offloads. So be it. I am truly thankful science exists to even give guys like me a chance at being dads

 I am blogging as I would like to find other guys / couples out there who are going through the same sort of thing. Ladies – if you hub has “yogurt truck issues”  send him the link and tell him I feel his pain. Infertility is infertility,  so many of us have it in different forms but its not easy to find the blokes view out there. I know 99% of this IVF thing is the women’s sacrifice (bless them) but I know there are blokes out there who feel the same pain / angst I do having (at least in part) caused this suffering for their wives. It’s a heavy burden to feel you cause it as you jab her endlessly with needles.. Anyway….

Don’t be afraid to post a comment! I know there is a huge silent throng of people out there going through this like we are. I have found reading other people stories fascinating, motivating and educational. I hope people enjoy my posts and get something out of reading my story, (and a laugh!!). I have no answers, its just another path on one side of a huge canyon, and you are only even on one side (the kid free side) or the other side. There is no in between. Here’s to finding the bridge to the other side!

Best of luck to you all if you are in your own IVFland. Have faith and no matter what happens, we’ll come out of this with a bit more humility . That, I am pretty sure about.

Finally – apologies for crap spelling (my typing sucks) and I promise not to type in all those acronyms like you see on some hard core IVF sites. Lastly – sorry if what I write seems very basic to the IVF vets out there, but I know friends who read this who care about our position / challenge and want to know more about it, so I tend to spell things out a bit. If you don’t have a pass to  IVF land you have no idea of the rides and roller coasters we have!


7 Responses

  1. I’ve been reading your site, and am very impressed by everything you have to say and are going through. We have an essay that I think could be great for you to link to. It is a personal story told in four parts on male infertility. Here is the link, so you can check it out.


    Thank you so much for your time.

    Jed Mellick

  2. Jed – Thanks for posting your link. You write very well. Ahhh “the room”…. now there’s a web page to start… top 10 “rooms”… Congrats on your family, what a great story and thanks again for posting. I really do feel better for reading things like this and that (a) there is hope of fatherhood and (b) I am not alone.

  3. Wow. You guys have really been through a lot. I am glad to find your blog out there in the cyberworld. Male perspective of IF has been hard for me to find- we have MFI….with a few female issues thrown in for good measure.

    It helps me to read how you guys feel and to see your side.

  4. Hi
    Just wanted to say that I loved reading your blog. I’m sure everyone else has said it but it’s great to get a man’s perspective. My hubby occasionally tells me how he feels, and i’m sure it’s not a million miles from what you’re saying, but it’s great to read this anyhow.
    p.s. We’ve just come back from a holiday of a lifetime to Australia and fell in love with it. Sydney is an amazing place. Do you miss it?

  5. Hi MrIVF! I’ll forward the link to my DH- no-husband (trying to stay away from acronyms-haha) We are in our 2nd cycle and also have a diagnosis of male factor. I’ll peruse the rest of your blog-it looks like you have a lot of good info related to male factors.
    BTW: 5-7million is exellent, depending on your morph and motility percentages. DH has been on Clomid for a few months and just had an analysis done last week. He has low testosterone We’re looking forward to seeing if any improvement occurred. Since we haven’t got preggo naturally, I’m not extrememely optimistic, though some increase would definitely be awesome!

  6. To all of you wanting so badly to have a child through ivf, I have one thing to say be careful and not so desprate if things go wrong and believe me they can your life is screwed. People say things like i would have a child even if there was things wrong with it . Try cerebal palsy , Epilepsy for starters. I have totally devoted the last 11 years of my life to my child if i was to video his & our lives i am sure you would be gob smaked at how different your life could be with one silly mistake from an ivf cowboy sorry (DOCTOR). It has cost my family $1mil australian to try and get compensation for this doctors wrong doing and 10 years + in the legal system, It turns out the nice smiley doctor can go real nasty quick. Although i love my son alot of the time he only sleeps 3 to 4 hrs a day he squeels as he is mentally retarted and i know the combination of the above has shortened my own life, That was never in the plan to have a child and given the information i have now i would have ran as fast as my legs could take me away from ivf.

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