Lining up the lining

What a weird day

So we went for the scan. Mrs IVF, the coolest IVF customer ever, self-declared her stress level in the car on the way down was 1 (10 being highest). “Guess I need a bit of stress” she says. Getting out of the car, for once we thought that by the time we got back into the vehicle, we wold know where we stood. Finally a quick decision in IVF land.

We went in for the scan and I am sure this is not done deliberately but the TV hanging from the ceiling has readings in about font pitch 2. So we couldn’t see a thing. The mango princess was all over it. “What’s the reading?” she blurts, with stress probably raising to a 1.5 level. “7MM” says the nurse. She twists and turns that dildo cam thing and even publicly declares “I am trying to measure the biggest bit” but 7MM it will be after 2-3 attempts. The heart is back in the mouth. We need to go to the video judge.

Next test: ute blood flow. On the 1 day workup it was found that the blood flow to Mrs IVF’s ute was too high / intense (previously never diagnosed). She was topping 5.6 or so (they want under 3) so she has been off to the oracle (both here and in NJ) to try electro acupuncture to get that puppy sorted. Today – around 2.5 – both side. So result!

Next test: blood. The estrogen readings recently had been ok but not great. 419 two weeks ago and then 413 last week, (so good but not great)Today she was 1,100, which our chief elf commented when she called later was an excellent result.

So, we hung around for a bit, see if there was any kids we could hug for a while (not likely at the waiting room at CCRM, although you do see them occasionally), Mrs IVF got a swine flu shot and then we headed back to the car, none the wiser on what happens next.

With nothing better to do than wait (again), we headed down to the post office, (we needed to post some Christmas cards). We had used some cards we had bought before we moved to the US and I  bought some new ones in London recently that were really nice so we just wanted some stamps for these. Christmas card sending “went IVF” on us.  i.e Something you thought would be quick and painless and a tick on this list (aka reproductive sex) actually turned into a dragged out nightmare. Some cards (and I am talking something like 4″ square) were deemend “parcels” due to their size. Ok – charge me an extra 10 cents, but as they were going international, they needed a customs declaration. So thats something new for the folks back home  – customs declaration on the chrissy cards. Other cards were “too small to post” so we had to put those in festive season (not) post office envelopes and then readdress everything. So all our friends will now think we are freaks, well, probably just confirmed it. Through all this,  my fertile buddy, (who just announced their second pregnancy) pops into my head. I think how he just got a root (note: Mrs IVF thinks that “root” wont be well known so I will eaborate ” he had sexual intercourse”) and is now lapping me with his second kid, while we are somewhere in Denver, worried about uterus lining and writing customs declaration on christmas cards and just briefly I paused and thought “what the fuck is going on with my life? How did we get here again?”

Lunch, and its quick rice bowl from a local chinese place. With Mrs IVF knocking off all my broccoli (go lining go!) and we sat there reviewing the lining options. Green light and we are on: Yay! But 7MM isn’t great so do we want to “invest 2 embryos?” if it’s a borderline scenario.. Red light we stop. Really annoyed at the waste of time again, but we go skiing and we basically soak Mrs IVF in a estrogen bath from day one next month and hope it improves (it cant get worse right?). We came away thinking that to be honest, either decision could sit ok with us. 

We wrap up the meal, get the bill, and a fortune cookie arrives. Oh, this could be interesting.  Mrs IVF’s read “next year buy your christmas card in the US, ok?” and mine was slightly less clear …”There will be many surprises: unexpected gains are likely”. This is now being carried around in my wallet. Did I mention that this was turning out to be a weird day?

We needed a dose of ying and a chance to hang out with kids and “pick up the vibe” so we headed to the zoo. Fun afternoon. We got close to kids without looking like freaks, but to be honest, Mrs IVF loves her animals so it was certainly good ying…. but the call, where was the call….

So we are hanging out with the elephants and the calls come…. and here we go again…. “oh, hi.,… yes…” time just stops  again for us” so, we are on then, excellent news” says Mrs IVF learning that verbalization of such things is very useful to the wingman. A huge smile appears on my beautiful wifes face and you know what, it was hugely infectious. We are on to the IVF superbowl!!! We made the final round. Mr / Mrs IVF vs mother nature and her bricks. Game on. Bloodwork thursday, transfer set for Monday. Preggo test 30th Dec. Lets finish this year on a high note.

We switch drugs now. Tonight was the last lupron, Mrs IVF keeps on the Estrogen patches, estrace up the wazoo and she starts the progesterone (wazoo), tetracycline and medrol  tomorrow.

Thanks for your thoughts and responses I am sure that counted for a mm or 2.


Can we get over the line(ing)?

Right, back in Denver and it’s all very deja vu, even down to only being 1 room away from where we stayed last time. We have been on a lining blitz, but we are complete amateurs, we really try to do the right thing, but who knows.

Today we went and saw The Oracle again.  I am sure I have mentioned The Oracle before but I cant find the post. Anyway, this woman, just like her name sake  in The Matrix is completely unassuming but has an air of all knowing in an incredibly disarming way. She is the acupuncturist, but deep down I think she is something bigger, potentially a god, who is just hanging around on earth in a simple office in the back of Colorado somewhere bringing her ‘erbs and somewhat magical knowledge to mere mortals.  You think you go to the oracle for a quick session of acupuncture, but you are really going for a lesson on life, except you just don’t know it until you leave.

Before Mrs IVF went in for her session today we had a fairly typical acupuncture type rundown with The Oracle, with tongue showings (Mrs IVF no one else) and a few tips on do and don’t. Tongue was ok, but the leg crossing was a no no, blocks major arteries and destroys your personal chop suey or feng shui or something. We discussed the diet and were told to avoid soy (oh whoops – so much for chinese last night!) as, well, that will give you estrogen, but you only have so many receptors in your body and yes these receptors will pick up soy from a bit of a stir fry but thats low grade compared to what you are sticking in your vajayjay and absorbing from the patches (oh man – low grade estrogen? – we are so out of our league on this stuff).

When Mrs IVF went in for her session I continued to download from The Oracle. So much to learn. So ying and yang. We are in a ying phase – calming, nurtuing, loving, motherly, massages, yoga, calming music, bla bla bla. We need to keep the ying high, (so much for ying and yang evening each other out!)… yang, well yang seems to be where I spend my life, it’s the testosterone side of things, kickboxing, blokeville etc. Every chick has her yang moments, but now, oh learned readers, we need to be ying. Bugger – kickboxing for Mrs IVF probably not great then?

Heres another. Ladies, want to get pregnant? go and find a baby and hold it, hang out with kids. Your body reacts to this. The Oracle says that women who live together over time have their periods converge (which even I knew) but didn’t know that holding a baby can kick off a the whole “chick system”. (So at least that explain something for me. As  I hold cheeseburger, I now know why I get fatter, it’s all the proximity stuff. Suddenly, its all so clearn now!) So – next time you are out with a fertile and really are dreading it, grab that kid and rub it all over you (without looking like a nutbag)… straight from the oracle. She would know. So get baby sitting people, your uterus needs you.

So I learnt a fair amount, but she ends off with this ” you just have to hope at the end, there really is no right answer”. What an oracle-ish thing to say.

So I spent time in The Oracles waiting room downloading calming relaxing music on my phone as the oracle dispensed her wisdom. (note Mrs IVF has passed out on the lounge tonight listening to a recording of a fireplace crackling away, so there’s a result!)

Tomorrow is scan day, so this is where we see if this is the end of cycle 5 or not. Over 7 mm please. Oracle not happy with 6mm so did some special job on Mrs IVF’s guts tonight, (nearly as good as what the white bean soup did to my guts at a later dinner). The good news from talking to the oracle is that she very very very rarely sees people who don’t ever cycle from poor lining (and sorry dear reader if you are one of these poor folks) as they just cancel the cycle and hit you with skud missiles of drugs next month to get you over the line next month, (or so I believe). SO, if we aren’t over the line, we just go skiing and if we are, then our journey across the rickety bridge continues.

Side note: If coming to Denver (maybe for a holiday or to see or make family?) go to a place called table 6 for dinner. Great little spot. Excellent food, don’t ask about the wine menu (no idea), but as we wrapped up a great meal last night sitting next to us was one of gods reps (a priest, not an angle) having a nice meal with a mate. They were chugging a beer! So I am even being out drunk by the lords reps. I have to be close to a low point on who can out drink me these days.

Wish us luck. See you on the other side of this. Lets hope the pond scum smoothie (plus everything else) did the trick.

We mightn’t even make the bridge…

How can we fall off a rickety bridge we haven’t even got onto yet? I’ll tell you, ute lining. We went for a scan this morning and Mrs IVF pulled a 6.4mm lining reading when the min they want is 8mm. hmmm. (Mrs IVF even politely asked for a re scan. alas,no better). Our beloved mango princess then emailed our elf at the baby factory this AM and got a response back she’d speak with the baby maker. Stay tuned readers.

Since when in life did 1.6mm make a difference? I know it does here, but in your day to day life, how much does a few millimeters make a difference on anything? Take a few mm off my no caffeine tea? or make my commute 1.6mm longer or take another 1.6mm of cash out of my bank account to fix this lack of kid problem. Just give us a few more millimeters of lining please oh great lining giver? 

So here’s the mental image for today. We are standing in IVF land ready to start the journey to the land of parenthood. The backpacks are on and loaded with all sorts of emotions, patches, drugs, needles, suppositories etc etc  and we have repositioned our hearts from chest cavity to sleeve (where they can of course get damaged that much more easily).

We are all packed and heading for the bridge. Small steps, no rush, dont want to trip but at the same time, LETS GET IT ON!, we see the bridge, we see happy pregnant people and parents on the other side of the bridge, they are waving at us, egging us on telling us how wonderful it is, and that they know we can do it!, we see green grass, rainbows, happy smiling people, facebook pages with 10,000 photos, family picnics, happy grandparents.(ok – we know there is a  grotty side to kids, but that must be back further in parent land somewhere, we can’t see it as we are transfixed by this oasis, we are so parched and really want to drink from the other side of this bridge.)

We look at each other, we are beaming, we can do this, we know this bridge, we know the rickety bits, we have been in training, we’ve taken extra precautions to ensure we are ready to develop our frozen kiddies. So many drugs, so much time, timetables, everything, no probs, we are all over it. Its time to move on…..

Then we trip on a rock right under our nose that we didnt see coming and we have lost balance, we could fall over flat on our face this afternoon in the dust bowl we live in or we could regain balance and move on… . Either way, yet again, we are shaken, this process has delivered yet another random twist, and you know what, we are just fed up.

Anyone tripped on this rock and stayed on their feet?