Chi and crackers at the baby factory

Hi ICLW’ers. Welcome to the twisted humor / humour of a rare male blogger who does his best to support  Mrs IVF through our 5th IVF cycle (with no luck to date, but we transferred today, so we’ll see). The “about” explains where we came from. I write too much and spell badly, but my heart is in the right place I guess.

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Ever been at a turning point in life where something suddenly strikes you that going forward every day will be different? Maybe it’s the last day at school, or a day you move away from home, or if like Mrs IVF and I you are moving countries and you know things will be different, (or the day Mrs IVF and I went out our 1st date – after that I knew I found someone I wanted to marry and commit to a period of IVF hell, arent I nice?) Anyway, this feeling is like life dragging you somewhere else and “here” isn’t where you will be any more. Today it struck me that maybe, just maybe, life might take us somewhere else, away from IVF. Maybe we can cross this bridge. Maybe.

Today was transfer day, and what a coin toss of a day all day. On the surface things went very well, but there is ying and yang all around you. Maybe I was just sensitive to it today. I drove like a grandpa down to the baby clinic this am and Mrs IVF sat there surprisingly quietly, just squeezing three of my fingers over and again. Then she would squeeze them like she was trying to strangle them, then stop, the repeat the whole thing. She barely remembers it. Poor thing. She was stressed. 2 hrs before the baby wizards (embryologist) called and wanted to know how many they wanted to pull out of the esky / chilly bin / ice box / freezer. We went with 2, as pretty widely broadcasted by now. Mrs IVF was worried about their health. I, on the other hand, was completely chilled, there was nothing else to do. At the risk of clogging this blog with yet another analogy, if we were sky diving today, we have left the plane, we were free falling. We have done everything we can think of to make this right. Mrs IVF has done every drug, patch, insert, jab on time, we have been off booze, caffeine etc for so long it doesn’t even register anymore. Nothing more to do, enjoy the view as you plummet towards earth before the parachute opens. Mrs IVF was worrying that the chute wouldn’t open, I was talking in the view for once.

As we waited in the foyer of the baby factory, a couple came in and wanted their medical records on the spot, “sorry sir, 3 weeks”, “can’t I just xerox now…”, in my mind, people don’t move records fast unless not happy with something. A yang moment. Next min a woman arrived with the cutest, well behaved 3-4 year old girl. Mum was in for ultrasound, so I suspect Little Miss Lovely was a product of the baby factory herself. A ying moment. How lovely. Mrs IVF sat there in her own world pumping away on my fingers…. Next we headed in for bloodwork, Mrs IVF almost ran in as if to speed this whole thing up…from another room I head  ” I did a test this morning and it was negative but I was wondering as I am flying out on Thursday if …..” Yang moment… Mrs IVF pops out of bloodwork and I hang out while she does a bit of bladder mgmt (critical for transfer days as many of you know) and Little Miss Lovely pops around the corners with her mum again….. ying… The baby factory is such a lay line of happiness or complete despair… this dichotomy is  everywhere and its done with such calm, no raised voices, a nice waterfall in the foyer. It’s like nothing is going on, a fertile would not see any of this, but to the sub fertile its a world of hopes, amazing results and shattered dreams.

We headed to the 2nd floor where all the serious work happens (downstairs is just offices and ultrasounds, upstairs is all the procedure rooms – yes – inc the porn parlour). We headed into our room and, like the retrieval, I thought this was just a prep zone, where at some point Mrs IVF would be whisked away and at the end of some secret procedure they just fedex her back to me or something (like prior clinics), but I soon found out everything is done in the one room.

1st we had the acupuncture guru appear. It wasnt the oracle, it was her little sister but she still had cool oracle lines like …”let me just tweak these pressure points to ensure the chi / she / cheese keeps flowing”. Very oracle-ish. So we did around 25 mins of pre game acupuncture with some lovely soothing music. A picture of calm from all angles.(Note – “we” means I sat there invisibly in the corner, while Mrs IVF was looked after).

 Next, the elf (nurse) appears and give us the game play for the day, what we need to do and not do later, and drops Mrs IVF a Valium. Mrs IVF turns to me and says “I think these pills don’t really affect someone like me, I am pretty chilled anyway, they would really have an impact on a guys like you who bounce off the walls”…..her increasingly glossy (but still gorgeous) eyes were telling me a slightly different story, dear reader.

Next up was the sonographer (or ultrasound elf in Mr IVF speak). Lovely no nonsence woman who checked out the bladder situation. We were overfull so we can “empty a cupload”. Mrs IVF, anxious about only doing a “half wee”, but keen to avoid the bed pan later, went for the half wee option and came back beaming with the new bladder control half wee skill she never knew she had and reckons I should give it a go. Hey – party time in our hotel room tonight!!! Woo Hoo!

Then things get towards the main event. Time for the wizards to drop in. These folks are the behind the scenes magicians you really don’t see that much of.  They have amazing jobs. They make children for a living. There are 2 things they measure when you wake the kids up from the icebox:  hurdle 1: how many cells survived (hello !?!?- no one told me they die off a bit?). They want anything above a 75% survival. We scored a 95% and 98%! Nice work team. hurdle 2: are the kids stagnant, growing nicely, going off like Tiger woods at the match.com christmas party? we got 2 “growing nicelys”, which they said is excellent. Mrs IVF was silent, but you could see the relief. The parachute opened.

The wizard and baby maker (Dr) decided to defrost the 4AA and a 5AB (Here’s a post explaining how blast grading works: https://misterivf.wordpress.com/2009/09/15/final-biopsy-results/)

From checking with Mrs IVF speadsheet here is the gradings of the 6 that passed mircoarray:

5AB, 4AA, 6BA, 3 with a 4BB

So I was surprised they didn’t go with the 6BA so I checked with the wizard. She says they choose the 1st letter (the quality of what will be the embryo) as the top grading criteria. So the 5AB and 4AA got the nod. Mrs IVF was back on her game now. “Oh, so thats embryo #13 and #15, got it”… “wow”, says the wizard “thats right”. Mrs IVF appears to have memorised the ordering of the kids from her embryo spreadsheet. Bless her. I hope we find better names for them one day, (“#13 clean your room!!!” doesnt really work well and the playground bullies will have a field day). From checking back over the spreadsheet Mr / Ms 5AB was also the 12 cell monster we had at day three (when we should be around 8 cells)….. well enough, can you disect this any further, I think not?

A bit after 11.15 then whole gang is in the room, we have the ultrasound elf, the baby maker himself, the elf,  the radient (yet a tad glossy) Mrs IVF, the non joke cracking Mr IVF in the corner amazed by all of this and the wizards has returned with the most impressive machine I have ever seen. This thing – the baby transporter – is a full on incubator (complete with these gloved hand holes like you see on the Simpsons in the radioactive part of the nuclear reactor). On the side are two unmarked canister of something, probbaly oxygen and something else that is cooler like “baby grow juice”. There is a big monitor on top and all sorts of big words on it that I can’t remember but probably said something like  “BABY MAKER – STAND CLEAR AT ALL TIMES. NO STANDING”. In the middle of this contraption is a huge microscope that has a gentle soothing beam of like from it shining down on a small dish. Its by far the brightest light in the room, which is quite fitting. Its like looking at one of those si fi movies where if you can take the petri disc out of the light, then you will cause a thermonuclear reaction across the whole death star and take out Lord Vader and the rest of the dark side. If only we can get that one good shot at the energy core… stay on target… stay on target…..

Anyway – Mrs IVF was whisked into position and we went through the whole “say your name” bit, which was good. Not only did they have the right Mrs IVF, but they had the right Mr IVF as well – but not sure why I go so many strange looks for saying my name (no – I didn’t do it, this is not the place for humor / humour folks).

Soon the wizard had a needle the size of your forearm (in length not width!!) and with the steadiest hand I have ever seen, passed it to the baby maker who did his injection in seconds and the whole deal was done while we all stare at a TV screen that looked like a whole lot of static to an untrained eye (that would be my eye and not his thank hevens!). Gloves off, legs down, head tilted downhill, best wishes to you both, and Mrs IVF is officially up the duff.

The elf checked in to see if the bed pan was required (which it wasn’t) so  we got the oracles prodigy back again for another session of chi / she / cheese with the needles Mrs IVF drifted off for a snooze with another round of calming mongolian throat gurgling from the CD player.

After an hr of rest, Mrs IVF was wheel chaired to the car where, in recliner mode, I drove like my grandpa’s grapdapa back to our hotel 5 mins away and this is where Mrs IVF has been bed based ever since. She will stay there until Wednesday.

As the ultrasound elf said, maybe this bed rest is “voodoo” but hey, can it hurt? “No” says Mrs IVF, remembering how nice it is to be looked after.

So there it is folks. 2 in and all went as well as we can expect. Preggo test next Wednesday. 30th Dec.

I called family tonight giving them updates. My darling, but somewhat blunt, sister  summed up the ying and yang in my head today with one of her trademark oneliners: “Look, I am sick of the crap going on in this world. I have friends with crap marriages and nightmare lives,  for me work sucks, and things are tough and well, there is just a lot of shit going on, so you know what, we need more good in this world so you need kids, thats how we fix this world, lets get more good in it. Time to start a new decade and write this one off, and thats how we’re going to fix the bad, inject more good, you need kids.” With that, she hung up and I thought, “I could live with that.”

Can we get over the line(ing)?

Right, back in Denver and it’s all very deja vu, even down to only being 1 room away from where we stayed last time. We have been on a lining blitz, but we are complete amateurs, we really try to do the right thing, but who knows.

Today we went and saw The Oracle again.  I am sure I have mentioned The Oracle before but I cant find the post. Anyway, this woman, just like her name sake  in The Matrix is completely unassuming but has an air of all knowing in an incredibly disarming way. She is the acupuncturist, but deep down I think she is something bigger, potentially a god, who is just hanging around on earth in a simple office in the back of Colorado somewhere bringing her ‘erbs and somewhat magical knowledge to mere mortals.  You think you go to the oracle for a quick session of acupuncture, but you are really going for a lesson on life, except you just don’t know it until you leave.

Before Mrs IVF went in for her session today we had a fairly typical acupuncture type rundown with The Oracle, with tongue showings (Mrs IVF no one else) and a few tips on do and don’t. Tongue was ok, but the leg crossing was a no no, blocks major arteries and destroys your personal chop suey or feng shui or something. We discussed the diet and were told to avoid soy (oh whoops – so much for chinese last night!) as, well, that will give you estrogen, but you only have so many receptors in your body and yes these receptors will pick up soy from a bit of a stir fry but thats low grade compared to what you are sticking in your vajayjay and absorbing from the patches (oh man – low grade estrogen? – we are so out of our league on this stuff).

When Mrs IVF went in for her session I continued to download from The Oracle. So much to learn. So ying and yang. We are in a ying phase – calming, nurtuing, loving, motherly, massages, yoga, calming music, bla bla bla. We need to keep the ying high, (so much for ying and yang evening each other out!)… yang, well yang seems to be where I spend my life, it’s the testosterone side of things, kickboxing, blokeville etc. Every chick has her yang moments, but now, oh learned readers, we need to be ying. Bugger – kickboxing for Mrs IVF probably not great then?

Heres another. Ladies, want to get pregnant? go and find a baby and hold it, hang out with kids. Your body reacts to this. The Oracle says that women who live together over time have their periods converge (which even I knew) but didn’t know that holding a baby can kick off a the whole “chick system”. (So at least that explain something for me. As  I hold cheeseburger, I now know why I get fatter, it’s all the proximity stuff. Suddenly, its all so clearn now!) So – next time you are out with a fertile and really are dreading it, grab that kid and rub it all over you (without looking like a nutbag)… straight from the oracle. She would know. So get baby sitting people, your uterus needs you.

So I learnt a fair amount, but she ends off with this ” you just have to hope at the end, there really is no right answer”. What an oracle-ish thing to say.

So I spent time in The Oracles waiting room downloading calming relaxing music on my phone as the oracle dispensed her wisdom. (note Mrs IVF has passed out on the lounge tonight listening to a recording of a fireplace crackling away, so there’s a result!)

Tomorrow is scan day, so this is where we see if this is the end of cycle 5 or not. Over 7 mm please. Oracle not happy with 6mm so did some special job on Mrs IVF’s guts tonight, (nearly as good as what the white bean soup did to my guts at a later dinner). The good news from talking to the oracle is that she very very very rarely sees people who don’t ever cycle from poor lining (and sorry dear reader if you are one of these poor folks) as they just cancel the cycle and hit you with skud missiles of drugs next month to get you over the line next month, (or so I believe). SO, if we aren’t over the line, we just go skiing and if we are, then our journey across the rickety bridge continues.

Side note: If coming to Denver (maybe for a holiday or to see or make family?) go to a place called table 6 for dinner. Great little spot. Excellent food, don’t ask about the wine menu (no idea), but as we wrapped up a great meal last night sitting next to us was one of gods reps (a priest, not an angle) having a nice meal with a mate. They were chugging a beer! So I am even being out drunk by the lords reps. I have to be close to a low point on who can out drink me these days.

Wish us luck. See you on the other side of this. Lets hope the pond scum smoothie (plus everything else) did the trick.

Enter the coasting leopard

We packed up the ice pack full of drugs  and headed off into the mountains again yesterday. After swinging through the north west on Saturday, we headed south west yesterday and crircled up notrh up through the ski fields. We stopped around 2.30 in the middle of nowhere and took the shot of Cetrotide. Todays view was of an enormous field with a stunning forrest of pines in the background. Futher back a thunderstorm was rumbling over yet another series of gorgeous mountain. Beautiful stuff. On the other side of the road was a paddock with around 1 dozen cows starting at us and wondering what we were up to. Clearly either excited by our presence or just bored,  a few of them were particulalry horny and just got into it. Well, tried to get into it. We took this as a good omen. Some sort of planets aligning type thing. Cows humping in a paddock and Mrs IVF taking more IVF related drugs in her pin cushion gut merely meters away in this beautiful setting. A message from the horny cow gods of Colorado that they are with us no doubt.

Our elf called around 2pm yesterday with another vmail telling us no stims at all overnight. Oh boy.  We listened to it again, yep, no Menopur and no gonal F, just keep on the Cetrotide (which keeps the ovulation at bay). Our 1st thought “what must the E2 be?”. Mrs IVF proceeded to tell me that in IVF blogland this is knows as “coasting” and is quite common. We have no idea if it’s successful, but well, at least we arent going to cook Mrs IVF organs as quick as we would at the prevailing stim levels.

So on the way into scans this am we kicked off a game of E2 bingo. (Remember the last 3 days? 1,700; 1,850; 2,550. ) Mrs IVF Final offer: 3,400. Mr IVF’s locked in bid: 3,200. Result: 4,500. We should have phoned a friend. We weren’t even close.  Wow – time to get on the gatorade big time.

The scan yesterday showed an enormous pile of black holes which reminded me a of a wildlife show we were watching last night. “I think my ovaries look like a leopard” says Mrs IVF as we watch said creature with her cub trying to gnaw through some frozen prey on some tundra somewhere snowy and cold looking. “A leopard” says Mr IVF, leaving it there and pondering the similarities and wondering what sort of side effect these drugs have and if recognizing yourself as a leopard, is one of the more common ones.

This morning as our scanning elf tried to count all the follies at the same time recounting her recent trip to Australia, Mrs IVF leant over to the hub chair and with a grin in her heads said “see, told you, Leopard”.

We’ll, dear leopard, you have reached the peak of your stim mountain and your trigger is scheduled. 10pm tonight for the tigger for a 9am retrieval on Wednesday.

Here we go again, the rollercoaster is just about to peak. Hang on folks, the leopard and her wing man are going for a ride.

In Denver

Update from Denver…

Arrived tonight after one of the most uneventful flights of my life which is (a) perfect and (b) very rare in the domestic US airline marketplace these days.  We had a carry on bag packed to the hilt with drugs, ice blocks and insulated bags that if I was a TSA agent would raise some suspicion, but they didn’t even look, ask to look or show much care at all. Thank you for your tips, you were right – no issue.

On the ovary growing front we had a scan yesterday back at the old clinic with the mechanic (for those of you who remember old posts). We had around 18 follicles with 1 at 10mm and the rest lest than 9.  So I guess thats good, but we have been down the nice follice count / few egg path before (last cycle 18  17-18mm follicles, E2 at 4,000 but only 5 eggs and still no explanation)

We have been stimming away on 300 units of Gonal F at night and 2 viles of menopur in the morning. So to me  -that’s quite a dose. Mrs IVF is starting to bloat and we are almost at the stage of dinner out with the pants down (well the top button not done up). Last few times we were generally doing just 300 a day of the gonal F (150 night and morning). The other thing we are doing now is strictly timing shots. 9am and 9pm NY / 7pm and 7am Denver time now we are here.

Coming in to land tonight I came up with another thought around what IVF is like (long term readers amongst you know how I develop all these parallels / comparisons)….When I was a teenager I remember going on a night hike back in Australia with the scout troop I was in. I have done this particular track many times and knew it very well but hadn’t done it in a while and hadn’t done it at night. One part of this track is very a very steep decent into a huge valley so you zig zag across the side of the valley slowly going down.  Over time a path straight down the mountain had developed and we often just ran down that which was a great buzz (but prob not great for the landscape), so that’s what I decided to do in the dark this one night, run the shortcut. One minute I was flying along roaring down the hill wind in my hair have a great time in the pitch dark and the next, all I remember is alot of pain across my chest, my stomach and my shins and then being flow back against the ground and lying there wounded in extreme pain. What had happen was that I had run full speed into a crude wire fence  made with three wires some rangers had put up to stop clowns like me doing what I was doing. No one runs down this thing at night so its hardly a health hazard, except for fools like me and I didn’t see it coming and hit it at full speed (I actually could see wire marks in my body when we got back after the hike… it hurt like hell, but looked impressive enough!)…. so the link to IVF? Well – you can feel you can be cruising along at any point , but really, you are in the dark, you are in control of very little, and out there is a wire fence for us to slam into as soon as we start to get revved up and these wire fences aren’t friendly, they don’t half hurt, they only dish out extreme pain. Maybe we’ll miss a fence, but who knows – we are putting everything into this – it has 100% of our attention and effort and out there is an inconvenient fence, just waiting.

A similar though I also had. This whole IVF process is like running around in a dark room with someone else (lets call her mother nature) in the room randomly throwing bricks. She is not necessarily trying to hit you, but her job is to throw bricks and sometimes they connect with you. Wasn’t intentional, you were just in the way of a random happening and remember she’s not throwing marsh mellows, they’re bricks. Again – you don’t half hurt through this stuff. Fertiles of course – run around with the lights in the room on.

So with that I’ll leave you. I think our fears are clear – can we grow to blast, (haven’t done that since cycle 1 as we have always trf before that), can we get through CGH with a biologically sound embryo and well oh geez, can we get through all this?

Next scan 7.30 tomorrow (central baby factory time). Will keep you posted

Thanks again for the posts and well wishes. They really are appreciated.

Surging forward

Picture this….. Mrs IVF has peed on a stick and she sitting there staring at it, she looks up and comes screaming across the house.. “look look” she yells with a big grin on her head, “2 lines, deffo 2 lines tonight, last night was only one faint line… this is it”

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we have surged. (No we’re not pregnant, but it felt like exactly the same drill.)

So expectations in IVF land here as so muted that we get excited around actually ovulating. Not having a kid, not counting mature egg or fertilizing them or a pregnancy result, but actually the fact that she is ovulating (and right on time – well done my dear)

So this kicked off a flurry of emails, phone calls, drug orders (legal drugs), further emails and a touch base with Mr IVF to update him on all the happenings. I have nothing to do at the moment in this whole process (I am not even driving the car for those who have been reading my tale for a while) , but I am preparing to start doing STUFF ALL again (http://wp.me/pvsWz-P)

So lots of news, but then again, not much I guess. Next on the do list: chase down remaining Dr letters, drugs are on their way and then we start on Estrace next week. No idea what that does, but suspect its some for of hand break before we start on the stims again.

On a completely different note, had a great dinner with some pregnant (no bad feelings!) friends tonight at la esquina tonight. Awesome Mexican restaurant hidden in the basement of a grotty diner near spring street in NYC. You have to walk through the kitchen to get to the hidden room. Its pretty cool. Recomend it if you are in this neck of the woods. (http://www.esquinanyc.com/)

Report from the fork

Well, what a very interesting few days. I could write an enormous blog about it, but for now, I’ll try and keep it short, here are the soundbites:

– very nice setup with very friendly and helpful staff. Turning up as a newbie you stand out. We could see that quite clearly after a few hrs when some other shell shocked “deer in the headlight” couple turned up looking completely lost and not knowing whether to start at the nurses reception desk on the left or dr reception desk on the right (give away sign of newbies).

– The place isn’t crowded and you don’t feel like you are part of a herd . Its 3 floors in a dedicated building in the middle of nowhere (well apart from a stonking, gleaming new hospital next door). Top floor is the dedicated world of retrievals and transfers and probably other “in cycle” steps. The ground floor is where we met all the nurses, business staff (aka accountants) , doctors, form signers etc. Basement is the where the boys go to crash the yogurt truck. You’d expect nothing less. Leave the lads to their handy work in the basement.

– Geez – enough on the frikkin building… how’s the treatment? In 3 words, thorough and informative. You really get the feeling they look at things very closely and you just sense that by doing so they may have a few new tricks up their sleeve. Quick run down of the day:

– Met Dr Schoolcraft. Nice guy, straight up, happy to chat and doesn’t seem to be in a rush and answers questions very well and generally quoting studies etc to confirm why he and his team do what they do. You learn things speaking to him and they resonate in your head that they seem reasonable as you speak to him. Its nice to get that feeling even if you know all of this may come to nothing at the end of the day.

– The Business mgnt staff. Talk money up front and spell it out pretty clearly. Bloody expensive, but is what it is. Will dig up the numbers if anyone wants to know.

– Baseline work. One word. Wow. Very thorough and incredibly informative. We asked questions and step by step we knew exactly what was going on without prompting the nurse . We also learnt a few things as the nurse light sabered around my wife’s innards with that ultrasound :

(1) Doppler – this measures blood pumping around the ute. You want it under 3 and nice peaks and troughs. The Mango Princess was hitting 5’s and dropping right back to zero between peaks. Appears acupuncture can help that.

(2) Follice count. Not sure we have had this before but they counted the number of follies Mango has. She scored 15 each side which was great…. we believe (further googling revealed that only 11% of women get this high). This count wasn’t easy, so the nurse did it twice (quality effort or what?)

(3) Spotting a spot. The nurse also spotted a spot about 1cm in size that could be a cyst or endometriosis on one of the ovaries. We  dont know what it is yet, time will tell, but bloody well spotted. Mr IVF , an bit of an avid scan watcher these days, was impressed given he thought he had seen it all when it come to (empty 😦 ) ute scans.

(4) 3D ute shot – no idea what this does for the process but it would make a cool game for the playstation

We also met our nurse, a genetics counselor, did some blood work, took the yogurt truck down to the basement for a spin, signed some papers and generally came out very well informed. We had lots of questions, learnt  a lot and feel as good as we could.

Still, the overwhelming feeling was this for me: this seem seems very well run and they are all 100% focused on trying to get you a healthy child, but behind the nice waterfall and pristine environment there are very blunt clinical facts being shared and hard decisions being made sometimes. If your eggs aren’t good, or your yogurt is crap these guys will hit you right between the eyes with it, (not splattered yogurt – just tough verdicts). There is zero BS in this facility. This is not a complaint, its just part of the ride. Its realistic and the goal is to give you a healthy child through, at the end of the day, a sperm / egg combination that works. Don’t take this that they push donor solutions down your throat, they don’t, but going donor does have an 80% success rate and their goal is to get you pregnant. So no false hopes, lots of great support and thorough analysis, and that’s just great, but for people less hardened by the IVF lifestyle, you could see how people could get expectations up.

This place I think is truly the fork in the IVF road. If we get bad eggs or bad yogurt here, they don’t sugar coat it, and I dont think there is any better place to go and we’d need to make a call – bash on, go donor or give up. Part of that is exciting, as we might finally try a few new tricks that can get us over the hurdle, but also, one way or the other, this place will be our IVF finale and it may end well, or it may be the wildest rollercoaster we have yet to see, and that, my blog world friends, is truly shit scary. Knowing that the IVF world of mirrors will probably end here is daunting, we will leave the maze and I have no one to predict how, when or in what shape.

Oh – next steps? Mango needs to get her HSG (again) next month so we prob wont stim for another 45 days, but that’s ok. We want to get going again, but only once all the test results are back, the dr’s have a plan and we are all on the same page.

One other thing. Denver and surrounding areas are a great place to spend the weekend, although if you are having your ute played with (like for a hysteroscopy) you can rule out white water rafting for a week as your cervix and other chick bits need to bend back into shape. The Princess was not happy about this as the rafting was top of the do list for the weekend, (so much so that she asked the nurse if we can come out a few days early and raft before the stims get too full on. “Ah” came the response “maybe if you sit in the middle of the boat and do nothing?”)

So rafting is off for now (with a lifetime promise in place that we’ll tick that off the list some day), but the rest of Denver looks a go.

Let me know if you have any specific questions, otherwise I’ll prob come back and fill in the gaps in coming weeks.

The result – day 27

The only thing behind door 2, ladies and gents,  is another ride on a roller coaster, maybe next time we’ll get the car, but the dice didn’t roll our way this time.
 
We stared bleary eyed at a pregnancy test at 5.30am this morning (1st wee of the day is best) wishing for a line. Even a faint one would be a smidge of hope.  After a long lie in we started, half heartedly at some counter theories ..”maybe you missed?”, “well they are only accurate 99% of the time”… who were we kidding?
 
Did the blood work and got the confirmed negative call around 3.30, just after I showed Mrs IVF her “hub adjusted” pregnancy test (I drew a line on in pen as a morale boost)
 
We aren’t done yet, but we are thinking about a different clinic…. we hear good things about a place in Colorado.
 
I can’t believe this is so hard and elusive.